What’s my age again?

May 7, 2009 at 9:26 pm (Food for Thought, X's and O's) (, , )

Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong decade.  Maybe it’s just because sometimes I feel like I am older than my age actually reflects.  Ever since I was 5 (when my younger sister was born), I feel like I’ve been trying to act older than my actual age. In middle school I felt like I should already be in high school.  In high school, all I could think about was college. In college, I’m already thinking about my future. Marriage. Family. Even middle-age activities I want to do before I get too old to do things.

I’ve always been a meticulous planner. Plan, plan, plan.  It’s kind of my hobby, in a nerdy sort of way.  I like knowing what I’m going to do, where I’m going to do it, and how things are supposed to work out.  I don’t think it’s right to plan out your entire life, but isn’t it good to have a general idea of what you want?  Even in relationships, I eventually conclude whether or not I can see anything proceeding in the future; to marriage, to kids, to a life together.  I know I go overboard at times, and sometimes I even scare myself. I’m only 21 and I still have MANY more years of youth, fun, and excitement left in me, yet I am so much more comforted by the thought of finding someone to settle down with, to begin building a life with. I have so many things I want to do, places I want to go, and what better way to experience it all with the one person who fulfills you? About one month ago, I thought I had found that person only to be proven that the search must still go on.  Sigh, I am a ridiculously hopeless romantic.

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